The Legend of the Keytar

That’s what I’m calling it. That’s right, it’s the third installment in my moronic quest to chronicle ‘80s musical cheese.

One would think I would be intimidated to add a third disc to such an already stellar set, what with the previous albums, Reagan, Russkies, and 18 Ridiculous Pop Songs and ‘80s Vol. II: When Synthesizers Attack continuing to fly off the shelves. But there’s no drop-off in quality with ‘80s Vol. III: The Legend of the Keytar. It’s my favorite thus far.

My debt for the title goes to John Paul, whose affection for the ancient medieval instrument that is the keytar exceeds mine. While I had to dig a bit deeper this time with two ‘80s records already in the can, you still probably know these over-produced eighties anthems, or at least you know where they came from—the ‘80s, duder. It’s great for working out; it sounds like a huge montage sequence. Did you know that even Rocky had a montage? Ask JRoss, he’ll tell you.

Anyway, instead of simply listing the tracks, I thought I’d make it a bit more of a challenge…. I’ll put the answers later in the comments. Anyone who'd like a copy, let me know...

In track order:

1. I can see a new horizon, underneath the blazin' sky. I'll be where the eagle's flying higher and higher.
2. Try to be best ‘cause you’re only a man, and a man’s gotta learn to take it.
3. You play with words, you play with love. You can twist it around, baby that ain’t enough. 'Cause girl, I’m gonna know if you’re letting me in or letting me go. Don't lie when you're hurting inside.
4. We always wish for money, we always wish for fame. We think we have the answers, some things ain't ever going to change.
5. I’ve seen it before, it happens all the time. You’re closing the door, you leave the world behind. You’re digging for gold, you’re throwing away a fortune in feelings, but someday you’ll pay.
6. If you could see what I have seen, broken hearts and broken dreams. Then I wake up and you're not there, pain finds me everywhere. Oh, but you don't care.
7. After all is said and done, you never walked, you never run. You're a winner. You got the move, you know the street, break the rules, take the heat. You're nobody's fool.
8. Sometimes, you're better off dead. There's a gun in your hand, and it's pointing at your head. You think you're mad, too unstable. Kicking in chairs and knocking down tables.
9. I'm not expecting to grow flowers in the desert, but I can live and breathe and see the sun in wintertime.
10. Josie's on a vacation far away. Come around and talk it over. So many things that I wanna say. You know I like my girls a little bit older.
11. Shooting at the walls of heartache--bang, bang.
12. You keep your distance with a system of touch and gentle persuasion. I’m lost in admiration; could I need you this much? Oh, you’re wasting my time.
13. I'm sorry, but I'm just thinking of the right words to say. I know they don't sound the way I planned them to be.
14. The mist is lifting slowly; I can see the way ahead. And I’ve left behind the empty streets that once inspired my life. And the strength of the emotion is like thunder in the air. 'Cause the promise that we made each other haunts me to the end.
15. Turn around, look at what you see. In her face, the mirror of your dreams. Make believe I'm everywhere, I'm hidden in the lines and written on the pages is the answer...